


A little poop with knives sticking out of it

by NomadicSecret



Series: Insomnia-induced head canon/AU ideas [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-20
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NomadicSecret/pseuds/NomadicSecret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver's people skills could use some work. Unfortunately, the Queens have been the backbone of SHIELD since it was the SSR, and his mother the Director has made him the leader of a mobile command unit.<br/>(Basically, throw the Arrow/Flash teams into the Agents of SHIELD template).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have WIPs from SO LONG AGO that I intend to, hypothetically, return to, but RL just got bitchier than usual and they got sort of tainted by that in my mind and writing's been a thing that is sporadic and fragmented and especially self-indulgent. 
> 
> Anyway, I was thinking about this *entirely different) story that's been bouncing around my head where Felicity joined SHIELD after MIT and had this eureka moment (appropriately enough, in the shower) earlier and I just decided, what the hell, why not try to ease back into things by just rolling with the sporadic and fragmented and self-indulgent thing?

When Oliver was a kid, he thought his parents were perfectly normal jet-setting-but-publicity-shy billionaires. His mother and father were forever leaving on one business trip or another, often with Malcolm Merlyn, leaving himself and his sister Thea and his best friend Tommy Merlyn to tutors and nannies and drivers.

When Oliver was eighteen that all changed and he was read into a world he couldn’t have previously imagined (not that his teenage self was long on imagination, or good taste in haircuts). Robert and Moira Queen were, he discovered, high-ranking operatives in SHIELD, a secret organisation dedicated to keeping the world peaceful, and founded after WWII by the Merlyn and Queen families. Tommy and Oliver joined, partially to fulfill their parents’ expectations and partially out of a boyish enthusiasm for spies! adventure! Bond girls!

At 22, Oliver was assigned to a mission with his father and Communications Officer Sara Lance, whose sister he was dating. The “milk run’ went bad, his father was killed, and he and Sara were missing-presumed-dead for five awful years. 

When they finally make it home, Moira is the Director, Malcolm is Deputy Director, and SHIELD is public. Oliver just wants to work as a Specialist (read: alone, or maybe with Sara), but his mother and Malcolm are dead-set on shifting him to a management path. The mobile response team is a compromise, as is having Tommy as his Communications Tech and Sara as his badass pilot. This team is rounded out by biologist/medic Caitlin Snow, mechanical engineer Cisco Ramon, chemist Barry Allen and Specialist (in the tragically uncommon Common Sense) John Diggle. Their first mission involves Rising Tide hacker (and adorable smartass) Felicity Smoak and a recipient/victim of Mirakura, Roy Harper. Sara and Tommy bully Oliver into recruiting the two. 

Unbeknownst to Oliver, his baby sister has become a Specialist. When he eventually discovers this (in the field) she insists that she kept it from him because he couldn’t handle it (which is pretty much right). Oliver brings her into the team, where at least he can keep an eye on her. And then HYDRA happens.


	2. Hacker is such an ugly word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Oliver's in charge. Riiiight.

Oliver knows how Trouble looks on Sara's face, so he doesn't wait for her to say anything when she joins him in the cockpit. In retrospect, there may have been better places to hide from his team then where his second-in-command did her job.

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm going to say," she protests.

"I know you, I know that look, I know my answer will be 'no'." Despite his absolute certainty on this fact, he actually isn't sure what she's got planned.

"She's cute," Sara says, waggling her eyebrows.

"We can't adopt enemy hackers just because you think they're cute," Oliver protests, even if the grin on her face sort of makes him really want to. Sara's last five years had been as bad as his, with an added bonus of getting her heart broken, and he would do a lot to make her smile like that. Unbidden, the memory of Felicity in their initial interrogation saying "hacker is such an ugly word" and smiling hopefully springs to mind.

"The science babies think Roy is Christmas and their birthdays all at once," Sara added, like he hadn't said anything. 

"We're not calling them that."

"They're still down there babbling incomprehensibly. And I'm really more the cool aunt type."

"And Felicity looks like a mom to you?" Oliver asks, immediately regretting his words. He ~~flees~~  manfully advances to the rear ... straight into Tommy, who apparently heard that because he pulls out his wallet and hands Sara a ten.

"You're good," he says admiringly. "And what's wrong with looking like a mom?"

Oliver steps around him and continues to .... not here, trying not to feel like a petulant child. "We're not keeping them."

"And Felicity's little duckling imprinted on you," Sara says, following.

"He did not!" Oliver insists, too far down the rabbit hole to remember that engaging is the way to madness and defeat.

"He's almost as bad as Barry," Sara continues.

"Tommy, help me out here," he pleads.

"What are we talking about?" Tommy asks airily.

Oliver growls. 

"Keeping Felicity and Roy!" Sara chirps, bubblier now that she's close to closing the deal.

"Oh, we absolutely cannot do that," Tommy says seriously. "Oliver's mother would never approve."

Oliver stops - just outside the Cage where the people in question are sitting, damnit, why is he stuck on a plane with these lunatics he used to call friends? - and turns. "I know what you're doing," he says. Tommy smirks. "Even if we offered, she wouldn't say yes," he says, the last refuge of a desperate man.

"Then it can't hurt to try," Tommy says. "Look, I got some training in computer hacking at the Academy, but I am nowhere near her level. There are only a handful of people in SHIELD at her level, if that."

"So if she goes bad, you're not equipped to fix it."

"She won't go bad," Sara says. " _If_ we bring them in. They both want to help people, but if we don't show them how to do that, there's no guarantee they won't be manipulated."

Oh, she is good.

Diggle walks in from the direction of the lab and pauses warily.

"Digg!" Oliver says in relief. Diggle is the most sensible person on the plane. "What do you think of bringing Felicity and Harper into the team as consultants?" He turns to Sara and Tommy, smirking triumphantly.

"I think it's a great idea," Digg says.

"See? Diggle thinks-" Oh shit.

Sara and Tommy return his now-fading smirk. Sara leans in to open the Cage door. "After you," she says gallantly. 

"I hate you all," Oliver mutters, but he walks in anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched any of the back half of AoS season 2, I'm waiting on someone I watch it with to have the time, PLEASE don't spoil anything if you comment. But feel very free to comment otherwise!


End file.
